That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize