Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
