toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
