i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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