Sry I called you an 8
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
