My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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