we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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