Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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