she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
