OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
