margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Alive.
So much puke
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
