Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
