I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
