I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She made me pour olive oil on her.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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