Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize