my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
