I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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