Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
