I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
