I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
