I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
