My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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