don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
