i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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