We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
