What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Mom said you looked used
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
