you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
