You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
