I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
