you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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