i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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