So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we should paint friendship bongs
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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