we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize