So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
