i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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