Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize