Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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