my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
