when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
