also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
