is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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