it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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