Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
