I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
