i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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