I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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