no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
