I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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