I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
