just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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