ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
