his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
