Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
