I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
