I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
