Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
