Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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