kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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