Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
